It’s 3:30pm and I have already called the bride four times today to see if we should move their ceremony “inside”, instead of the beach. Each time she asks me to hold on and asks me to push the limit of my endurance by waiting until the storm passes.

We begin the trip to 2nd Avenue. Our assistant, Betty and I are in one car followed by my husband, Bob, our officiant in our car. The rain becomes torrential and I am thinking- this is crazy!

We arrived at the site and parked on a slight incline while we watch the rain become a lake on the street where we are parked. We were supposed to reserve meters for parking and I jokingly said”, Well Betty, when I asked you to be creative about finding a legal way we could save those parking spaces, I must admit, you outdid yourself!”.

My affirmation for the day was, “I give freely and fearlessly into life”…Be very careful what you pray for!

Calls back and forth…no answer from the couple, who were speaking to one another about what to do next. But the rental company did call me back and said, “Let’s cancel the chairs; it’s not likely to happen outside, and if this changes we’ll regroup”. Chairs canceled.

Limo bus, which we asked to wait with us in case we had to ride in it, represented the calm in the storm, anchoring the entire proceedings.

Florist calls and says, “I have seen the space in the restaurant and it is too small for a ceremony. Let’s hold out as long as we can”. Florist on hold.

Head musician calls…she is not able to get out from her home because her street is blocked by water. Music was key to this ceremony; “I pray, please God make it stop raining now!”
Later she calls to say they have safely arrived at the reception site in downtown Naples.

Betty drives to higher ground as we watch people in homes adjacent to the beach wade in knee deep water. I begin to feel my anxiety winning.

I watch our relatively new crossover vehicle wade in water as Bob leaves to check other sites, and I think, “We need to get out of here”(very grateful my practical self never knew the car could float with enough water beneath it!)

Trumpet player calls and says “guests are gathered and waiting for the bus at the reception place”. I assure him we will send the bus as soon as we know whether the wedding will be held on the beach. He gasps as if to say” you must be kidding”, but is too much of a gentleman to challenge me, knowing the stress I must be under.

With a lake now fully formed and police going by our street to rescue vehicles, Betty suggests she goes to see what the beach looks like. She takes an umbrella and goes to scout for the sun! Bob joins her. They return with promising news…there is a clearing coming.

I sit in the car, wondering who to call next. I chose the bride. I tell her the “lake” is somewhat receding and it looks in the distance like this could clear. I suggest we go for it and she says “bravo girl!” We are on our way.

Call for chairs, activate the florist and arch, send the limo to gather the first group of people and musicians and breathe. We are now looking at a one hour delay. Clear overtime for vendors with bride, making her fully aware that even one drop of rain could ruin any instrument!

First bus arrives. I board like a travel agent doing a tour in a hurricane. And many look back at me with that “what is going on?” look. I say something innocuous like, “welcome to Naples, and our summer weather, this is our tradeoff for no more snow! Let me assure you that we are banking on a beach ceremony and when it stops raining we will welcome you to the beach.”
Thirty minutes later we serve them water while they are still sitting on the bus.

Group number two of guests are now waiting downtown with Betty. I stand outside, damp and numb, when Betty calls asking me “What will the guests use to wipe their feet after they go to the sand?” Seems someone sensitive wanted to know. As good fortune would have it we did have a solution – ice cold refreshing lemon towelettes.

Thinking out of the box, I called rental and asked if a tent was an option at this eleventh hour.
A tent is available and I get the approval from the couple to order it. Off the rental truck goes to pack a tent and set it up on the beach. This would assure both the guests and the musicians that the show must go on…but would delay the ceremony for at least another half hour.

And just then the sun breaks through…I make an executive decision. Go to speak with the groom about starting as soon as the bus with the #2 group gets here. He calls the bride, hidden in a limo now parked closest to the beach. I cancel the tent. We send musicians to the beach. Betty organizes the wedding party. The arch is complete with exquisite Hydrangeas, the chairs are set, the people take their seats. Betty asks for a music cue. Bob asks all to stand and, as if without a hitch, the wedding is blessed with an exquisite moment on the beach, complete with a final sunset that anyone would dream about. As the flutist later wrote, “The couple gets married without a hitch and their beautiful Florida wedding becomes a reality.”

What have I learned?” If I can get through this, my nerves must be made of steel,” as my dad used to say, or “If God calls you to it, God will call you through it”. I also saw 10 years of experience coming through and manifesting itself beautifully. I was so very very grateful to Betty and Bob who were my right hands that day, and I was so energized by the trust of the couple, and our vendors, and the guests.

When the ceremony was complete, the bride smiled at me, thanked me and shared that “all it takes is to remain faithful!” What a prophetic word! Patience without panic!

Perhaps the limo driver of 15 years said it best: “This was a stressful afternoon but you and yours pulled it off with grace! You are sincerely to be thanked by all present.”

This work has been a gift to me these 10 years…always teaching me about myself and others and challenging me to grow. I used to say that about my first career, as a therapist and owner of two counseling centers. Love is after all, the greatest teacher and I am more than willing to have it be my guide in all of my endeavors.

As a company, A Beautiful Florida Wedding has always believed that it’s important to the vitality of a marriage to renew love daily.  This may simply involve saying “I love you” each day, and being respectful of each other’s contribution to the day.  But, periodically, at critical times in the marriage, something additional may need to be expressed, at such important thresholds as a 1^st, 5^th, 10^th, 20^th or 25^th anniversary.  As “officiants for life”, we have celebrated with couples at their 1st anniversary and at
succeeding decade anniversaries.  We have even had the honor of celebrating one couple’s 40^th anniversary in Naples.  This was a couple who had kept every souvenir from their wedding day right down to the bill for a tuxedo rental.  We also blessed their new retirement home near the beach and shared in the joyous celebration and testimonials of their children, grandchildren, and lifelong friends.

The highlight of most wedding ceremonies is the exchange of vows, because this public expression of love and commitment comes straight from the heart.  Once said, however, many couples can’t recall the content of their vows unless they kept some record of it.  The words remain buried obscurely among the myriad of events that occurred during the wedding day.  Couples may celebrate their anniversaries each year without realizing the importance of actually renewing their vows.

What is the attraction of a vow renewal?  Fro some couples, who had traditional church or synagogue weddings, the attractions are the novelty and informality of a renewal on the beach.  For others, it’s the belief that now is an appropriate time for them to take stock of their relationship.  For still others, it’s the opportunity to celebrate with children, and sometimes close family or friends, in a quiet, intimate atmosphere.

How does a vow renewal compare with the original wedding ceremony?  Some couples view it nostalgically as an experience as closely following the original ceremony as possible.  Most couples, however, see the renewal as an opportunity to blend the original experience with recognition of how they have grown and changed over the years.  Children, especially, are a manifestation of the gifts of the marriage union.  We try to incorporate children in the vow renewal when possible as witnesses, readers, or recipients of their parents’ gratitude.  They tend to be thrilled to be able to experience their parents repeating their vows.  We hope that it impresses upon them the seriousness and sincerity of the marriage commitment.

Our renewal ceremony is relatively short, intimate, and personal.  We begin with a brief homily or reminder of the importance of renewing one’s vows and how that renewal remains eternal throughout the marriage.  We often include a reading or a prayer that captures the sustaining quality of marriage and that recognizes the strength of the commitment that each partner has brought and will continue to bring to the marriage.  The vows that we have the couple repeat blend traditional wording with more contemporary wording that captures the sense of continuity and change.  The precise wording often comes from the couple themselves, although we are happy to create our own phrasing for the occasion.

However expressed, the vow repetition comes from the heart.  So also does the exchange of rings, an especially tender moment because it involves the one tangible symbol from the original wedding ceremony.  We then conclude with a brief blessing or prayer that launches the couple, and their family, on to the next phase of their relationship.

There is usually no processional or recessional, no bridal party, and no formal reception.  What is in place, though, is a particular recognition of a renewed expression of love and commitment, of a family created through that love, and of a resolve to continue to strengthen the bonding that began years ago and that we affirm again today.

 Bob and Cynthia Mitchell and Catherine Fazzina
                                    Your Officiants for Life
                                                     June 2008

Harmony in such a relationship, therefore, comes from the supportive spirit of each partner.  By allowing each other to become whole, complete, and growing individuals, we become fully responsible for the spirit of coupleshipin which both people feel free to express their creativity in the relationship and their joy in the partnership.